I then step back and take a deep breath and try to prioritize. But it is hard because I find myself so overwhelmed that nothing gets done.
Case in point the weekends. With working two-three different jobs from Monday to Friday the weekends quickly get filled up for me. I need to find a way to balance out the week days. Mondays and Tuesdays are a loss. I work my school cafeteria job and then immediately segue into my aftercare job followed by a short drive in the car to my evening cleaning job. The best I can do on those days is remember to take my meds and my vitamins, make a sandwich to eat in the car for dinner and get plenty of sleep.
My goal is to organize the three hour free time window I have on Wednesdays to Fridays as well as my weekends. All I've been doing so far is using that time to make myself a meal to eat before going in to clean, sometimes unloading and reloading the dishwasher, running the vacuum cleaner, or throwing in a load of laundry while also trying to get in some relaxation in front of the tv or with a book. I've decided to start scheduling myself tasks to complete on these days. But most days? I find myself doing nothing but watching tv. Sigh. So I have come up with this plan: Wednesdays I will vacuum and clean my bathroom before sitting down. Thursdays: I will complete any errands that may need to be run as well as give the kitchen a quickie clean. Fridays: I will do at least one load of laundry.
And now the weekends. Right now I am in the midst of a plan formulated by some family members who are insisting that despite legal advice to the contrary we clean out my recently deceased sister's home. The whole thing is fairly complicated but to simplify it a group of us as well as the attorney my remaining sister consulted feel that once anyone in the family has taken anything they need or want and we have donated a bunch of stuff as we all agreed to do we should leave the rest and let it be taken over by the bank. She left too many debts for the estate to yield any kind of profit and not a single one of us is legally responsible for any of it. However as in most families there is that one strong minded individual who thinks their plan is better and is vocal enough and forceful enough to get the person who is nominally in charge to go along with it despite themselves. That person is insisting we totally clean out the house (and believe me this is like an episode of hoarders in there) so that their friend can appraise it and see how much it would be worth to sell. Frankly it is in horrible condition. Nothing has been done to the place in years except for filling it up with everything and anything. And the debt owed on it is really going to be more than what it is worth. But here we are spending every Sunday for the last month chucking crap out of the place and it never seems to look like we are making any progress. Seriously. I've seen episodes of Hoarders with less stuff. And now the drama queens are insisting that we finish this project by Thanksgiving because they "can't enjoy" the holiday unless this is done. Whatever. So for the immediate future my Sundays are going to look like this : Church, family brunch, cleaning crap out of this nightmare (ugh), dinner and an evening spent either catching up on work I've brought home or if I am lucky relaxing and doing something I call fun.
This leaves me Saturdays to schedule in anything else relaxing and fun as well as errands and chores. I feel stressed out just typing that sentence. I've concluded that Saturday mornings I will run any errands followed by cleaning the house. Leaving late afternoons and/or evenings to do fun stuff (fun stuff also includes collapsing in a chair and sleeping in front of the tv). Today I am going to shower and get dressed, run out to the wholesale club to pick up a case of envelopes I need for the cafeteria job, run in to Target for a couple of small items and then return home to clean house. Tonight (or Sunday evening) I may take in a movie. I want to see the new Murder on the Orient Express.
Oh and I still need to get some menus put together because meals have been really hit or miss this last week.
And I am trying to train for walking a 5K on Thanksgiving morning that I registered for. LOL. See what I mean about that juggling act?
I can "hear" the stress as you type. ((Nancy)). Agree, something has to give. ..it's simply not healthy. What I found is that by assigning certain household tasks to certain days, while considering obligations on certain days of the week, that the divide and conquer approach can work. Also, have the grace to cut yourself some slack. Is it possible to "assign" certain rooms to individual family members to tackle over at your departed sister's place? or is it best to have 2 pairs of eyes on everything as it is gone through? Has there been any discussion of hiring a clean out crew or is cost something not to be considered? Personally (not that you asked), I'd ask for possession X/Y/Z that I was interested in, then commit to X amount of hours on a Sunday from now until Thanksgiving and whatever doesn't get done, doesn't get done. You are under no legal obligation to do any of this, it would be meeting the overseeing relative somewhat half way. Another means to getting it all done, as you mention, is to prioritize and also to factor in running errands on the way to/from work whenever feasible. Are the kids at home pitching in at all as regards grocery shopping/laundry/cleaning? can they take over any of these tasks? I strongly feel that you need a weekly day of doing NOTHING. It's good for the soul, your mind and spirits, not to mention physically. Be well!
ReplyDeleteI need a nap after reading what you are going through. WOW. I thought my after work life was a hassle. It is nothing like yours. I wholeheartedly agree with what Carol has mentioned/suggested. It is hard putting yourself first, but, the other option is no good. I will send up a prayer that your load lightens soon.
ReplyDeleteyes, remember to schedule time for yourself even before the house. especially after your health scare. I'd totally give up on the cleaning of your sister's house, that's just not necessary and not good for you. I saw Murder on the Orient Express last night while visiting my son and we loved it.
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