Starting Over

It has been 15 months since I last posted. So many things have gone on and changes have been made. Last January I ended up in the hospital following an episode of chest pain. I was checked out, kept overnight and released with orders to get a stress test the following week. I failed that test miserably and ended up back in the hospital where I had a heart catherization. The good news is that my main artery looks fine. The bad news is that something is going on with my heart. After more tests and ruling out a lot of stuff my cardiologist determined that like a lot of other women I have microvascular heart disease (also called Syndrome X) which means the small vessels .off my main artery are clogging. And my cholesterol numbers were ridiculous. And I have unstable angina. So now I am on daily meds for these issues, as well as nitroglycerin for the angina attacks.  It could have been much worse and at my six month checkup my cholesterol was excellent and the meds are doing their job. My doctor was also very pleased with the 62 pound weight loss I had accomplished since starting my job at the hospital.
And that brings me to my other large change. The hospital job was increasingly stressful which led to an uptick in the number of angina attacks I was having (stress can bring them on) resulting in one large attack which left me pondering if this job was worth killing myself over. I sat myself down, did some praying, crunched some numbers and decided that it would be best to find something with less hours and less stress.
I was lucky that within a week I had another position with a different company all lined up. The good news is that it is strictly part time, M-F, no weekends, no holidays. It is still cleaning, but this time offices and mostly I just do detail dusting as well as a few kitchenettes. No pulling trash, no restrooms, no floor work. And since it is a headquarters of a fairly large company, most of the time there are no people to contend with. The bad news is it is less money and no health insurance benefits. But I am a master at belt tightening and am currently looking at insurance options.
In addition to that I have also picked up two three hour shifts at school in the aftercare program. This combination as well as what my son J donates to the household budget as well as the young lady who is renting a room from me throws in means we are doing ok.
Oddly enough I seem to do better with less money. I was wasting money like mad when I worked at the hospital. And I haven't had a single angina attack since changing jobs.
Socially I am enjoying the freedom being unattached has given me. Youngest son H and I have become movie buddies, seeing a ton of stuff over the summer on the $5 movie day as well as splurging on matinee prices. And I added Netflix to our monthly budget and the two of us have enjoyed some binge watching of various shows on that as well. It is so nice to have to time to enjoy this entertainment again. I have also increased the amount of walking I am doing and have signed up for my first ever 5K walk on Thanksgiving Day! The cleaning job and the occasional stroll on the treadmill at home are my training for this!  I had my 40th high school reunion over the summer and had  a wonderful time (spent quality time with my kindergarten BFF too) and reconnected with a high school friend who lives locally and I have seen her a couple of time since then. I am still spending a lot of time with my friend and neighbor V going on antiquing/flea market afternoons (lots of looking  very little buying) as well as just hanging out with a good glass of wine or bottle of water on her front porch in the summer and cozy living room now that the weather has gotten colder.
 I am anticipating the birth of another grandchild in March. Miss E who is already 3 is going to be getting a sibling. As a family we have been blessed beyond belief in that my special needs grandchild B recently had a surgery that is a real game changer for her, allowing her to become far more mobile than she was previously. We have had a couple of weddings, a niece and a nephew both getting married within the last year. And my brother-in-law B who is still fighting cancer continues to be with us all.  Sadly I lost my first sibling this year, my sister E passed away this October. Still struggling with this.
And now for my goals, I am getting back to blogging obviously but also  menu planning and regular grocery shopping with a list and a  budget. With my new job set up I have three days a week where I have a 3 hour break between jobs allowing me to relax a bit at home (or do errands or chores) as well as have a cooked dinner, two days a week I do the aftercare so dinner is a quick sandwich meal in the car on the way to the cleaning gig. And with every weekend off I can plan some great meals for that time. It had gotten to a point where I was eating out almost every meal I wasn't eating at the hospital or school. The occasional meal out is  now the rule. Getting back to basics here is my goal. More time spent with family and friends as well.

July Menus

After reviewing what I have on hand and thinking about it while working last night I sat down and made a list of dinner menus for the rest of the month. Yesterday I grilled one of the eye round steaks, cut it into strips and made a dinner salad with spring greens, cucumber, grape tomatoes, Kalamata olives, the steak and blue cheese with a greek vinaigrette dressing. Dessert was fresh grapes.
Tonight I have a pot of Gail's Pork Adobo simmering on the stove as well as some basmati rice steaming. Some whole green buttered green beans will round this out and I will pack up my portion to take to work and leave the rest for the kids.
The remainder of the meal plans are as follows in no particular order. I have noted when it is planned for a night off from the hospital (I have 3 more this month), I am using planned overs, and trying a couple of new recipes (which I haven't done in months):
Grilled chicken breast with balsamic glaze, California blend veggies
Grilled Tuscan seasoned pork chops, mashed potatoes, broccoli
Shepherd's Pie, peas
Pasta carbonara Florentine, salad
Herbed eye of round roast, mashed potatoes, candied carrots (night off meal)
Beef stroganoff (planned overs), egg noodles, beets
Asian Summer salad, fresh fruit
Lemon Chicken scallopine with gremolata orzo (new recipe), green salad
Grilled Asian pork tenderloin (new recipe), white & wild rice pilaf, snow peas (night off)
Grilled Asian pork tenderloin salad with Asian vinaigrette (using planned overs)
Pork lo mein (using planned overs), egg rolls
Pan seared barramundi fillets, Israeli couscous, asparagus (night off)

July Groceries & Food Supply review

I did some actual grocery shopping the other day at my two favorite stores, Aldi and BJ's wholesale club. At Aldi I spent $85.92 and I brought home a watermelon, a large box of 'single origin' K-cup coffees (Brazilian, Peruvian, Costa Rican & Ethiopian), a small box of hazelnut K-cups, a box of elbow macaroni, a box of frozen Angus burgers, a pack of snow peas, 3 zucchini, a bag of breaded chicken strips, a bag of crispy tortilla strips for salads, a bag of French fried onions for salads, a bag of grapes, 1 pint of grape tomatoes, two bags of spring greens, a seedless cucumber, 2 lbs sweet onions, 1 pint mixed tomatoes, 1 bag of spinach, 1 bunch of bananas, 1 bottle of balsamic glaze, 2 quarts of lowfat cottage cheese, 1 jar dill pickles, 1 jar bread and butter slices, 1 bottle three cheese vinaigrette, 1 bottle garlic vinaigrette, 1 container of coffee creamer, 4 lbs. sugar, 1 bottle light balsamic vinaigrette, 2 boxes of biscotti, and a box of continental assortment cookies.

At BJ's I spent $65.90 and brought home a whole center cut pork loin, a whole eye of round, a porterhouse steak, a bag of mini fresh mozzarella cheese, and two large jars of peanut butter.

I cut the pork loin into a roast, a bag of pork cubes (which I am making into Pork Adobo for tonight's dinner), and 13 pork chops which I individually wrapped with plastic wrap before putting into a ziplock freezer bag. With all the coming and going around here these days this allows me to take as many as needed for any given dinner out of the bag at one time. I cut the eye round into a small roast, a tiny bag of beef cubes for shish kabobs, and seven steaks also individually wrapped like the pork chops.

Because dinners are either portable and going to the hospital with me with leftovers for the kids or just for one or two people (work schedules vary so much between us these days that I don't remember the last time we were all home for dinner together) this will last a long time. In the freezer I have a couple of bags of frozen blsl chicken breast & tenders, some bone-in chicken thighs, about 1/2 pound of shrimp, some salmon & barramundi fillets, a pork tenderloin, two racks of pork ribs, several packs of bacon, some breakfast sausage, hot dogs, chicken sausages, cheddar brats & a whole cooked smoked turkey, as well as assorted bags of frozen veggies, some frozen egg rolls, and a ton of frozen beef burritos that middle son J got for free from a neighbor who moved out and cleaned out his freezer before moving (these come in handy for lunches & a quick something the kids can make themselves). In the pantry I have a ton of canned, bottled, and boxed goods. Dinner salads being a staple of mine these days we are heavy on salad dressings of all kinds. Aldi has been offering a large variety of these items and I've been stocking up when I see them. We also have a nice variety of fresh produce still although a small stop for carrots and more spring greens will be made within the week.

What we don't have these days is junk foods (except for popcorn which I always have around). The cookies were an unusual purchase because I generally bake but youngest son H requested some and with the temps expected to peak around 100 degrees this week I bought instead of baked. Same with the biscotti.

And now for the meal planning......

Six Months

  I'd like to start by thanking Carol of Ctonabudget for her email. It has inspired me to pick myself up and get back to blogging. It has been quite a journey. I had my carpal tunnel surgeries in January and all went well. I returned to my school job right away because daughter E who was working with me could do all of the heavy work. I returned to my hospital cleaning job on the 8th of February. That surgery was a miracle. No more numbness, no tingling, no pain. As per my doctor's instructions though I continue to wear the braces while I sleep.

I signed a new school contract in May and got a raise! School starts Aug. 24th this year and my youngest son H will be my assistant this school year since daughter E is returning to school herself and H's classes are all late afternoon-evening. I also received an excellent review and a merit raise at the hospital! On the financial front things are looking up.

I also took a week's vacation in June and went to North Carolina with my friend Valerie for a few days to visit a mutual friend we sold Pampered Chef with several years ago. While there we splurged and spent a day at the Biltmore Estate (www.biltmore.com) which was fascinating. Definitely a place I want to return to.

Other than these exciting things life has been mostly work and trying to come to terms with no longer being half of a couple. My head knows this change was for the best (X was emotionally abusive, controlling & demanding & manipulative) but my heart is still sad (I loved him in spite of his flaws), especially since he has clearly moved on and replaced me with someone else. On the upside I haven't had to see or talk to him in months, on the downside his "charming" sister ( my oldest son's motherinlaw) loves to talk about him and how awesome his life is every chance she gets. I would avoid her too but I promised my son that since we share a granddaughter I will not do that. So I struggle on.

I have been making positive changes, returning to weekly Mass attendance (even though it means sitting with son's inlaws as well as son, his wife, and granddaughter), spending a great deal of time with my friend Valerie who has been a rock, spending even more time with my grandchildren who live here, reading more, watching tv, going to the movies, the zoo, the parks with the kids & grandkids. I'm even spending more time with my extended family.

My biggest change has been my appearance. Over the last 11 months I have dropped 55 pounds. I am 21 away from original goal weight. And I feel fantastic.

I hate to admit it but my organizational skills have taken a hit though. The house has become sloppy, I've stopped menu planning and I barely go grocery shopping. All things which I am determined to change. I began yesterday by de-cluttering and giving the house a complete clean (except my bedroom which remains a mess). I will be making a menu for the rest of the month including meals which I will take to the hospital with me. I grocery shopped over the weekend as well. I will do a separate post on that.

I keep telling myself one step a day forward.

Clothing

One of the downsides to weight loss is needing clothing that fits. For me this mostly meant new jeans.  College age daughter had a pair of skinny jeans that were too big for her but which fit me fine.  I also used a sale and purchased two pairs of boot cut jeans (still over $30 each) and after digging around in some attic boxes found three pairs of dressy khaki style pants. These will work fine with the pair of brown corduroy jeans hanging in my closet. Shirts can continue to be roomier for awhile.
Having a continuing weight loss goal means that hopefully these purchases will be temporary fixes.

What's been cooking

 Having been on vacation from the school and also been off several days from the hospital I have been doing more cooking at home.  I've kept it simple doing pasta with marinara sauce, grilled pork chops, soup from the freezer, etc. On Christmas eve I made our traditional dinner of pork tenderloin balsamico, white and wild rice, salad, rolls and ice cream for dessert. Christmas day I did a roast beef for son's house taking some of that along with leftover rice and salad for my own dinner .  Oldest son packed up leftover turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole, corn, roast beef, and mashed potatoes which I made into dinners for my two weekend shifts. Monday I was off for my pre-surgery appointment and had appetizers at my friend V's birthday celebration. Tuesday was my off day and V and I went out to a local bistro for dinner. Yesterday I put together a riff on a Pampered chef recipe penne with Sun dried tomatoes, spinach and grilled chicken.  Today I made a new recipe I found on Pinterest for a honey-garlic shrimp and broccoli. Here is the link: 

http://homemadehooplah.com/recipes/honey-garlic-shrimp-and-broccoli/

New Year's resolutions

  I've never been big on resolutions for a new year. But I recently came across an article that mentioned 7 that everyone should do to lay down the foundation of a better life and decided that sounded pretty good.
The first was get out of debt. I feel I am making good progress towards this although my mortgage will not be paid off until a long time in the future. Four more car payments and that will be done leaving me with just the standard insurance and utility bills.
The second was rid your life of toxic people. Clearly I am on my way there since the greatest source of toxicity and negativity in my life is gone. I will surround myself only with those that will help me succeed in life.
The third was to continue to better yourself or get more education. I have already researched getting my medical terminology certification online and plan to take the course once I am back on my feet financially following surgery leave. Then once my year in housekeeping is over I can start applying for those 'office-y" type jobs at the hospital or one of the family health/surgery centers (where you don't work weekends or holidays) within the health care system I am already employed by.
The fourth was exercise more. I have begun this but plan to add some yoga to what I do now.
The fifth was to find happiness within you. I lost that ability somewhere along the road in the last 8 years. I am determined to get that back and never give it up again.
The sixth was to let go of grudges. A hard one when people insist on sharing all the bad details with you but one which I vow to work on diligently. Mostly because I think it will lead me to that happiness within.
And the final one was connect with those you care about. I have been doing that more but will make a concerted effort to do so even more in the future instead of letting life get in the way.
Here's to laying the foundation for a truly awesome new life.